The folks at the 39th Annual RV SuperShow found one of our cartoons funny enough to post on their website. Our cartoon, “Red Neck Risk” portrays two of our favorite trying to hook up their RV with less than the skills taught by our friends at the RV Show, much to the suprise and pain of their cat.
[Hat Tip to our buddies over at the double wide over at House Marketing and Management.]
Just received this by email. A quick Google check shows that this one’s been floating around on the Internet at least since 2002, but I’ll pass it along anyway. The email I received labeled this as: “Best Comeback Line Of The Year.”
Felony trial. Defense attorney cross-examining police officer.
Q: “Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?”
A: “No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.”
Q: “Officer, who provided this description?”
A: “The officer who responded to the scene.”
Q: “A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender? Do you trust your fellow officers?”
A: “Yes sir. With my life.”
Q: “With your life? Let me ask you this then, Officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?”
A: “Yes sir, we do.”
Q: “And do you have a locker in the room?”
A: “Yes sir, I do.”
Q: “And do you have a lock on your locker?”
A: “Yes sir.”
Q: “Now why is it, Officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?”
A: “You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.”
LawVibe serves up “The Stupidest Things Lawyers and Witnesses Say In a Court of Law.” (Hat Tip: Law Blawg #109). Absolutely hilarious. Here a few of my favorites:
* * * * *
Lawyer: “Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man –”
Witness: “Thank you. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment.”
* * * * *
Lawyer: “Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
Witness: “No. This is how I dress when I go to work.”
* * * * *
Lawyer: “Do you know how far pregnant you are now?”
Witness: “I’ll be three months on November 8.”
Lawyer: “Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “What were you doing at that time?”
* * * * *
Lawyer: (realizing he was on the verge of asking a stupid question) “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.”
* * * * *
Lawyer: “When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?”
Other Lawyer: “Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.”
* * * * *
Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”
