Terra Extraneus

I stumbled across Jon Swift today, a marvelous political satire blog. I couldn’t stop laughing, and sometimes I laughed so hard I thought I was going to cry.

Jon Swift (a pseudonym borrowed from the 18th-century satirist who wrote A Modest Proposal and Gulliver’s Travels) never tells us much about himself. This is what he does say at the top of his homepage:

I am a reasonable conservative who likes to write about politics and culture. Since the media is biased, I get all my news from Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and Jay Leno monologues.

Imagine if a slightly more-educated Archie Bunker became a blogger. That’s Jon Swift. Swift makes frequent complaints about the liberal mainstream media, which he identifies as “basically all of the media except Fox News and ‘American Idol.’” Here’s a few morsels from the Swift smorgasbord:

In “Who’s Afraid of Global Warming?”, Swift writes:

First of all, I must say that I don’t believe global warming exists no matter how much evidence scientists come up with to support it. I think it’s just a lot of fear-mongering from iceberg-hugging scientists who are trying to distract us from the War on Terror.

In “No Amnesty for Old People”:

Yesterday was the deadline for senior citizens to register for the prescription drug plan, called Medicare Part D. Now some people are saying that the deadline should be extended for the millions who missed the cut-off and will be without coverage for the rest of the year. … I think extending the prescription drug benefit deadline would amount to amnesty for old people and everyone knows amnesty is wrong. It would be unfair to the elderly who registered before the deadline and would just reward aging slackers and law-breakers.

After billionaire Warren Buffett recently announced that he is donating most of his fortune to charity, Swift wrote “Warren Buffett Turns Against God”:

Warren Buffett’s recent announcement that he would be donating billions of dollars to charities … is a slap in the face of God. God gave Buffett his wealth and now Buffett is turning his back on God by taking this gift and giving it away … Godless liberal do-gooders often purposely misinterpret the Bible by claiming it is against wealth, though this could not be further from the truth. … If God hates money so much why did he make so many Christian preachers rich? Doesn’t it seem clear that God is rewarding people like Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts and Joel Osteen by making them extremely wealthy?

Here’s another clever post: “The Race Card.”

For an added treat, check out Swift’s book reviews on Amazon.com. He has posted 20 reviews of various political books. Every review begins with the phrase, “I have not actually read this book but…” It’s hilarious stuff. Regarding a book about Brokeback Mountain, Swift wrote:

I have not actually read this book but I did see the movie and I liked it very much. However, I don’t understand why people keep referring to it as the “gay cowboy movie.” Can’t two men be very good friends without everybody saying they’re gay?

I came across Swift because he is a frequent contributor to the weekly Christian Blog Carnival. However, I’m sorry to inform my clueless fellow Christian bloggers that from what I can tell, Swift’s participation in the Christian Carnival is just part of the satire. Is Swift a Christian? In one post, he writes that he was born and raised a Jew. It’s impossible to know if there is any fact in Swift’s fictions, but that particular post reads like a rare glimpse into the real Jon Swift (whoever he is). However, in the same post Swift went on to say that he became a born-again Christian over the holidays, when he saw the Chronicles of Narnia at the movie theater. Come on, folks, you gotta admit, that’s funny.

Brother Swift, welcome to the fold. I really am a born-again evangelical Christian. I imagine you think that all of us are far-right, mean-spirited, racist morons. Sadly, there are enough far-right, mean-spirited, racist moron Christians out there, that I can understand how you may have formed that impression. However, I want you to know that Jesus wasn’t a right-winger or a racist, and He certainly wasn’t mean-spirited. You know what they say: “You can’t judge a Messiah by his disciples.” Despite us Christians, I hope you will give Jesus more than just satirical consideration.

(If you are interested, it isn’t C.S. Lewis’s Narnia stories you need, but rather, his classic rationale of the Christian faith, Mere Christianity. I know your favorite line is, “I have not actually read this book but..,” but you would find this book well worth your time.)

Meanwhile, thanks, Brother Swift, for your great blog. You are right on political target with many of your posts. Jon Swift has been up since December 2005, and he averages almost 400 visitors a day. I will be a regular reader.